ANNA REGINA MULTILATERAL HIGH SCHOOL®

Many of our national songs/hymns came from the pen of religious men and women; the moralistic tone is prominent in all works of that period, a tone we may do well to attune to today.

A tone we may do well to attune to everyday not just seasonal as in twice a year at Independence and Republic anniversaries.

In many of these hymns, it was as if these men and women were ordained to mediate between God and Guyanese, sending up praises for this land of the mighty Kaieteur, giving thanks on our behaves because too many of us take these wonders for granted. These praise songs therefore are a reminder to us all.

Two of our more popular national songs were products of ministers of All Saints Church in New Amsterdam, Berbice.

The words of the National Anthem were written by Rev. Luker. He was an Anglican priest in charge of the All Saints’ Church in New Amsterdam.

In fact, he contributed to the county of Berbice in many ways including rendering service to the Berbice Lions Club, the Berbice Drama Group, the Berbice Red Cross and Society of the Blind. He also was a lecturer for In-service Teachers’ Training Programme, Berbice. Although, it was reported, he gained Guyanese citizenship, he regarded himself a Berbician.

‘Our Native Land’ was written by Rev. Cossou, another ‘honorary Berbician’. Apart from ministering at the All Saints Church, he was editor for the Berbice Review and Berbice Chronicle, two vibrant print media at the time. He served on numerous committees in that county and was Secretary of the Tuberculosis Society Berbice.

Born Mortimer Aloysius Cossou to Mortimer Cossou, a jeweller and watchmaker and his wife Sarah, Rev. Cossou was educated at Berbice High School and Queen’s College. He was also a student of theology at Howard University, Washington, USA.

He also studied social welfare and educational systems in Canada and the USA. He served as Minister to parishes around the country including Minister at All Saints Church, New Amsterdam, Berbice, between 1934 and 1937.

In part three of this series on National Songs of Guyana, we revisit a ‘My Native Land’ words and music by Rev. Cossou, arranged in andante moderato.

"The National Pledge"

The Golden Arrowhead, Guyana's National Flag has FIVE symbolic colors -- GREEN represents the agricultural and forested nature of Guyana, WHITE symbolizes the rivers and water potential of the country, a GOLDEN arrow represents Guyana's mineral wealth, BLACK portrays the endurance that will sustain the forward thrust of the Guyanese people and RED represents the zeal and dynamic nature of nation-building which lies before the young and independent Guyana.

Synopsis of  Guyana

Guyana (full name is Republic of Guyana) is a tropical country situated on the northern coast of South America.
It is the only country in South America where English is the official language. It is bordered by Venezuela on the west, Suriname on the east, Brazil on the south and the Atlantic Ocean on the north.

Guyana has an area of 214,969 sq km (83,000 sq mi), about the size of Great Britain.
The name Guyana is an Amerindian word meaning Land Of Many Waters.

We are known as the country of Six People- Africans, Amerindians, Chinese, East Indians, Europeans and Portugese. Guyana is notably famous for Kaieteur Falls, which is situated on the Potaro River, where that river falls off the Pakaraima Plateau.

Kaieteur is one of the highest waterfalls in the world, being nearly five times as high as the Niagara Falls in North America. Our Falls have a clear drop of 741 feet, then a further drop of 81 feet over the great rocks at the bottom. Kaieteur was discovered in 1870 by C. Barrington Brown, who also discovered Orinduik and Kuribrong Falls. The name Kaieteur is an Amerindian word, and the falls should properly be called Kai-Tuk. Georgetown being the chief port and capital is situated on the right bank of the Demerara River estuary. In Georgetown, familiar landmarks include the lively Stabroek Market, the sea-wall and the Anglican cathedral of St George, the tallest wooden building in the world.

Land and Resources

Guyana has three major geographical regions. A belt of alluvial soil, mostly below sea level, borders the coast in the north and is protected by dams and dikes. To the south, dense forest covers four-fifths of the country. The plants and trees of Guyana are noted for their great size; the giant water lily is very common. The forest extends to interior highlands. Several rivers flow from south to north, forming spectacular waterfalls. The country has important mineral deposits of bauxite, manganese, and gold. Dense forests contain greenheart and mora trees, which are used in the lumber industry. Animals include anteaters, monkeys, and brilliantly colored birds and insects.

Agriculture

Agriculture accounts for about one-fourth of the gross domestic product and employs about one-third of the labor force. Sugar and its by-products and rice account for most of the agricultural exports; 3 million metric tons of sugarcane and 225,000 metric tons of rice were produced annually in the late 1980s. Coconuts, coffee, cacao, citrus fruit, corn, manioc, and other tropical fruit and vegetables are grown primarily for home consumption. Large areas of rough pasture exist in the interior savannas. Substantial numbers of cattle, hogs, sheep, and chickens are raised.

Cultivation is confined almost entirely to the narrow coastal strip of rich, alluvial soil. Agricultural expansion requires heavy expenditures for protection against flooding and for drainage and irrigation, because part of the strip is below the high-tide mark of the sea and rivers and because of the heavy seasonal rainfall. The government of Guyana is making efforts to increase the amount of land available for cultivation through reclamation projects.

Forestry and Fishing

In the late 1980s about 125,000 cu m (about 4.4 million cu ft) of wood were harvested annually from Guyana’s extensive forests. Almost all of the harvest was made up of hardwoods, used mainly in construction and furniture making and as fuel. Fishing is concentrated along the Atlantic coast. The annual catch in the late 1980s was about 41,600 metric tons. Shrimp are a valuable product.

Mining

Guyana is a major producer of bauxite; about 1.3 million metric tons were mined annually in the late 1980s. Manganese, gold, and diamonds are also produced.

Manufacturing and Energy

Manufacturing in Guyana is limited to processing bauxite and to production of foodstuffs, beverages, construction materials, clothing, soap, and cigarettes.

In the late 1980s Guyana had an installed electricity-generating capacity of about 168,000 kilowatts, and annual production was some 385 million kilowatt-hours, nearly all generated in thermal facilities. The country has a great potential for producing hydroelectricity.

Population

Guyana has a population of 758,619 (1991 estimate). About 50 percent of the people are of East Indian descent, and about 30 percent are of black African descent. Five percent are Native Amerindians, and about 10 percent are of mixed background. Others include Chinese and Europeans. About 90 percent of the mostly rural population lives along the coast. About 42 percent are Christians, 34 percent are Hindus, and 9 percent are Muslims. The country's official language is English.
In the late 1980s about 134,700 pupils were enrolled in 425 elementary schools in Guyana. Some 100 secondary, technical, and teacher-training institutions had a total of approximately 73,400 students. The country’s principal institution of higher education, the University of Guyana (1963), in Georgetown, was attended by about 2300 students.

Economy and Government
The economy is dominated by agriculture, concentrated largely on the alluvial belt along the coast. Sugar and rice account for most agricultural exports. Forestry and fishing industries also contribute to the economy, and Guyana is a major producer of the mineral bauxite. Manufacturing remains limited. The currency is the Guyana dollar (135 Guyana dollars equal U.S.$1; 1997,approx.). Guyana's chief executive is a president, elected to a five-year term by the unicameral National Assembly. The Assembly consists of 12 nonelected members and 53 members elected to five-year terms.

History

First charted by Spain in 1499, Guyana came under Dutch control by the mid-1700s. The British gained possession of Guyana in 1814. British rule brought large influxes of Africans and East Indians. In 1961 Guyana achieved internal self-government under Cheddi Jagan of the People's Progressive Party (PPP). In 1962 Jagan's austerity program led to riots and a general strike. After British troops restored order, the nation was left on the brink of economic chaos. The 1964 elections resulted in a coalition government under Forbes Burnham of the People's National Congress (PNC). On May 26th, 1966 Guyana gained independence from the British. Four years later on February 23rd, 1970 Guyana became a republic. The country is now called The Cooperative Republic of Guyana. In 1978 Guyana was the scene of the mass suicide and murder of more than 900 members of a religious cult on orders of their leader,Jamea Warren (Jim) Jones.

A new constitution became effective in 1980. Burnham was then elected president. He governed until his death in 1985, when Desmond Hoyte of the PNC became president. In 1992 an internationally supervised election returned Jagan and the PPP to power.
Elections were held again in December of 1997, and the PPP/Civic under the leadership of Janet Jagan (the widow of the late Cheddi Jagan), won a second mandate.

On August 8th. 1999 President Janet Jagan announced that she is stepping down for health reasons and handing over the Presidency to Finance Minister Bharrat Jagdeo.

BACOO>>>A spirit of small stature that pelts stones at houses and moves objects within a house. He is supposed to live on banana and milk. Stories abound of the existence of bacoos in Georgetown and other areas in Guyana. Could have come from Surinam and are said to be trapped in a corked bottle unless released. Active mainly at night, it is said that a satisfied bacoo will answer the wishes of its owner.

'Baku' in many West African languages means 'little brother' or 'short man'. It also is related to the word the word 'bacucu' meaning 'banana'. In West Africa, the short races (such as the pygmies) were believed to have magical powers. This seemed to have been brought to Guyana, where the short races, or 'bakus', were still regarded as having magical powers.

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Churail (or Churile) is supposed to be the evil spirit of a woman who had died in childbirth. She haunts pregnant women and attacks women and and newborn children.

It is also a vampire-like creature of East Indian origin.

Amerindian spirit of the forests who protects the gold and diamond treasure - short, squat, resembles a moving tree.

Female water spirit - fed by food without salt - left on foreshore, edge of trenches.

Generic term given to a spirit, ghost or any sort of supernatural being.

The spirit of vengeance or justice believed in by Amerindians. Death is caused by a knot in the intestines or in some mysterious fashion. Also a person who carries out acts of vengeance.

The Great Spirit of many Amerindian tribes.

The Amerindian legend of the Patamona tribe has it that Kaie, one of the tribe's great old Chieftains, after whom Kaieteur is named, committed self-sacrifice by canoeing himself over the falls in order that Makonaima, the great spirit, would save the tribe from being destroyed by the savage Caribisi.

Powerful spirit of rivers - he pulls down into the water at rapids, the boats carrying pork knockers into the bush.

Tall, white and misty figure in legend, habitually gazing at the moon. May kill children. Unusually tall person.

As he roasted his bird, turning his makeshift wooden skewer now and then to cook all sides, Lennox noticed what he thought was a wild animal on a hill in the distance at the edge of the clearing. It was staring at the moon. He built up his fire larger as a precaution. But, too late, he realized that the effect of the larger fire was not more safety as he had expected. Staring at the moon changed to staring at his fire, and then to a sudden dash in his direction. It started to move closer, fast. Lennox realized then that it was very large, that it was running upright, and that it was running straight at him. He started to run. The chase had begun.

Excerpt from Caribbean Stories, by Andrew A. Munroe

In Guyana the practice emerges as (1) the religious rites of certain traditional African mysteries brought to South America and the Caribbean by the slaves and frowned upon by slave owners as devil-worship and calling up spirits from the dead. (2) The rites attached to poisoning, administered in secret by slaves on their European masters, in a deeply motivated urge to freedom or (3) spells against other slaves for money, or to gain love, or in revenge for wrong, real or imagined.

Obeah men or women were often individuals with powerful personalities and with a desire to dominate, who used a paraphernalia of materials for the purpose of harming others e.g. a compound of dirt from a human grave and the blood of a black cat mixed with a paste and kept in a goat's horn, a dried frog, the tail of a pig, feathers from a white sensa fowl, various herbs to induce trances, etc.

In Guyana legal history, many murder cases involving obeah have been tried to the amazement and terror of a partly superstitious populace. In recent times, the Prime Minister of Guyana stirred regional emotion by removing certain laws involving obeah from the statute books.

The story is that the ole higue, the Guyanese form of a human vampire, capable of discarding her skin takes the form of an old woman living in a community. At night she transforms herself into a ball of fire, flies from her own house up into the sky and then lands on the roof of another house where there is a baby in a cradle underneath a sheet whose blood she will suck dry and then go home. The suspicions of the community are soon aroused and the school children cry "ole higue" at her; they make chalk marks, on the bridge to her house, the door, the jalousie window. But the legend goes that she crosses these marks bravely.

Then the community sets a trap. When the ole higue flies abroad another night she finds that the baby in the cradle is clothed in a blue night gown. There is a heap of rice grains near to the cot and the smell of asfoetida. These cast a spell on the ole higue who has to count the grains of rice, and if she loses her way, she has to start counting again. The light of morning comes and the ole higue still has not finished counting the grains of rice. People burst into the room pick up cabbage broom and begin to belabour the ole higue. They beat her to death, with great emotion "You gwine pay for your sins before you die" they say.

Pre-nuptial dances and songs bordering on the sensuous from West Africa rehearse the bride's part and a help to prepare her for the future -'Lend me our mortar" is one of the queh queh songs. Some of the songs inclued "Oman a Heavy Load", "Gal you glorious marnin come", "Buy me lova wan shut, Me go wash am." These dances and songs often end in sessions of wild abandon.

Monster in river opposite Timehri Airport. It is supposed to be found in the deeps of the Waratilla Creek opposite Timehri. In an answer to a signal from a macaw this monster rises from below to attack the occupants of any boat which happens to be passing. This is an Amerindian belief and they say bubbling water can be seen over the spot where the monster is located.
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 The title says it all. Guyanese have a great sense of humour, and love to laugh at themselves ... often while looking at other people! Sometimes the jokes are so funny they can bring you to tears.

Sickbed

Although she husband did slipping in and out of a coma for several months, dis bannah wife stay by 'e bedside every single day.

When 'e finally ketch 'e self, 'e call she. Wen she siddung pun de bed near 'e, 'e seh,

"Yu know ? Yu' deh wid mi wen t'ing bad."

"When ah las' de wuk, yu comfort mi.
Wen ah went bankrupt and las' mi business, yu stay wid mih.
Wen ah get shoot, yu deh by mi side.
Wen we las' de 'ouse, yu support mi.
Even though mi health start fail, yu still deh by mi side..."
Now ah think 'bout it, it look like yu crass mi."

Ah want a divorce...

Tekkin' Breeze

Guyanese, deh always wah breeze.....ah lady dat ah know tell meh de addah day dat she muddah come from Guyana fuh spen a few weeks wit she an she driving she up de wall.

She seh dat everyday she muddah complaining dat she in getting enough breeze, dat de place hat-hat ... Meh fren decide dat befoe she guh to wuk she gun lef de door open suh she muddah cun get some breeze.

Eheh ?!! wen she guh back home in de aftahnoon she see she muddah "swell up", she complaining dat de place suh hat, dat she cuddn't tek a lil res.

Meh fren tell she muddah ... wel why yuh didnt tek a walk outside caws it cool ....de muddah seh to she ... well ah cuddnt guh an tek ah walk caws yuh lef de door open.....

-- Romesh Singh

The man of the house!

Harry had a rowdy wife. The woman could pelt mo' blows than a boxer wid ten hands, especially when she had a broom in she hand! One day she corner Harry unda the bed and blows flying all 'cross he head! Whaddax! Whaddax! She peltin' blows and she bawlin':

Wife: You call yourself a man? Come out here and tek your blows like a man!

Harry bobbin' and weavin' and tryin' to dodge, but he couldn't get away from the blows! So he start bawl for he neighbor Thomas.

Harry: Thomas! Thomas! Help me! Ah gettin' mi ass buss! Ow, man! Come help you drinkin' pardner, nuh!

Well, Thomas hear he pardner and he come runnin' over to Harry house to see what going on. When he see how the woman got Harry, he tell he:

Thomas: Man, Harry. What happen to you, man. You ent the man o' the house?

Harry: Yeah ...

Thomas: Well, talk for yourself nuh.

Harry: Dammit, Thomas! You damn right! I is the man o' the house and whatever I say, goes ...! And I say I ent coming out from unda dis damn bed!

Pirai

Fat Boy lillest daughter was coming of age. Man, the girl was looking good! Fat Boy decide that this one in gun marry any foreigner, scientist, or any other such good-for-nothing! She got to marry the bravest man in the land! So he arrange a competition by he air-conditioned pig pen behind the Gardens. He had a squad a soldiers dig a deep pond about 100 foot across and full the pond with pirai (piranha, the deadly man-eating fish). The rules wuz simple. Any man who could swim across the pond gun marry he daughter! He put a big ad in the newspapers announcing the competition for Sunday morning, 9 o' clock sharp.

Well, by 9 o' clock a big crowd already show up, everybody surrounding the pond, including Fat Boy and he daughter on the far side. The first man to try, jump in the pond and start swim. Before he could swim 20 foot the pirai eat he out. When the water clear, all you could see was he skeleton. Man, everybody was frightened!

After about 15 minutes, another banna volunteer. He walk up to the edge and plunge. Before he could hit the water, the pirai eat he out, right in mid air! Boy, well now everybody di' really frighten. Everybody just stand up wid their hands fold, looking at one another.

All of a sudden, a banna fly in the water and start swimming like hell for the other side, with a whole bunch a surprised pirai right behind he! He mek it to the other side and jump out right in front of Fat Boy and he daughter. The crowd was going wild, clapping and shouting!

But then Fat Boy daughter notice that the banna was a rasta, and she seh, "Daddy, I in wan' marry no rasta! I can't handle that i-tol food!"

Well, wha' Fat Boy gun do now, wid everybody watching?. So he seh, "Look, banna, ah gun give you anything you want if ___".

Rasta: "Anything I want? Anything I want? All I want right now is to catch the person that push me in deh!"

Cussbert

Cussbert Snr gets home from work and finds Jnr in tears.

Snr: Wha' di' hell 'appen to you, Junior?

Jnr: Daddy, ah get licks 3 times in school today ...

Snr: 3 times? A bright boy like you? How da 'happen?

Jnr: Di' maths teacher ask me, "What is 2 times 3?", an' ah tell he 6. Then he ask me, "What is 3 times 2?"

Snr: Wait, wait. Is not the same c***, man?

Jnr: Same thing ah ask he ...

Snr: Aright. Aright. Wha' else you get licks fa?

Jnr. In the Science class, di' teacher ask me to hold the black wire. Then he tell me to hold the red wire ...

Snr: Wha?! You know you could f*** youself up like tha'?

Jnr: Same thing ah tell he ...

Snr: Aright. Aright. Wha' bout the other one?

Jnr: This was in the P.E. class ...

Snr: P.E.? Wha' you could get licks in P.E. fa?

Jnr: The teacher tell we to form a line in front he. Then he say fo lift up we left leg. Then he say fo lift up we right leg.

Snr: Wait, wait. So wha' you gun stand up pon? Your dick, or wha'?

Jnr: Same thing ah ask he!

Baby

Ever hear the one 'bout the banna sellin' insurance? Well, his wife was in Public Hospital expectin' baby anytime! The banna nervous as hell, but he still had to ride he motorcycle all over Georgetown, trying to sell insurance and "catch he hand" before the baby come. But every now and then he would call the hospital to find out how things going.

Well, you know the hospital. First of all, you can't get through to them. The phone would ring and ring, and nobody would pick it up. Finally, when somebody pick it up, they gun say, "Wha' you want? ... Oh, you want t'know if you wife get baby, eh? Ah could see three a dem in the nursery from here. Wha you own look like? ... You ent know? You sure you is de fadda? ... Look, we don't give out infamation to strangers!" [Bradang!]

That does only mek he mo' nervous! "And why the hell she can't get baby right pon time? Schuuups! An ah hope she don't get twins, man. She mammy get two twins, and ah hear it does run in the family!" he gun think to heself. Dammit!

He try to call the hospital again and he ent getting through, as usual. Finally, the lines get crossed and he get on Bourda cricket ground, just in time to hear a voice at the other end say, "SIX OUT AND FOUR MORE TO GO!!!" The banna nearly drop the phone and faint! He put it back quick to he ear just in time to hear,"AND THE LAST ONE WAS A DUCK!!!"

Bets

There was dis ole lady who walk into Barclays bank in Water St., GT. She had a 10 lb paper bag, full ah $20 bills. Anyway, she walk up to de cashier gal and seh in the best british accent she has: Young lady, I want to open an account, and I have a really big deposit to make.

"Let me see your manager, because he is the only person I can trust."

De cashier was really upset about dis insult, but she rememba dat de customer is "always right"

So, she call de manager, who chacked out de bag, and invited dis ole lady into he office. All dis time, de bank manager really curious. (Of course, he is local!)

So, he ask: Ma'm, if it pleases you, where did you get all this money from?

Ole lady: I bet.

Manager: So, you visit the tracks or do you bet in the horse race parlours? The parlours are dangerous you know.

Ole lady: No, I just make personal bets. Would you like to make a personal bet with me, young man?

Manager: That depends.

Ole lady: I will bet you that exactly at 8.30 am tomorrow, your balls will become square. Let us bet $100, 000.

Manager, agreeing to the bet and thinking: I can win that. All my life, these jewels have been the same way, there's no way they will change overnite.

After de ole lady leff, de manager still nat wanting to tek chances, decide to cancel he cricket match dat afternoon, tek a taxi rather than ride home. All went well, de jewels remain de same. Dis fella really checking!

Anyway, the next maaning, de ole lady show up with a fella, who by his looks alone, had to be a lawyer (which he was).

De ole lady insisted to see de jewels. Manager sehs, OK.

De ole lady sehs: I have to be sure. I want to feel them to be really sure. manager sehs, OK.

As soon as de ole lady start to check, de manager noticed de lawyer started to bang his head pon de desk, really hard too.

Fearing de worse, de manager ask: What is his problem?

De ole lady sehs: Oh, don't worry with him. He just lost a bet we made. You see, I bet him that I can have the manager by the balls, and he did not believe. For that, he has to pay me $500,000.

It was nice doing business with you, sonny!

Big gun

Charlie was in court answering charges of stealing a rifle. Here is how it went:

Judge: How do you plead, Charlie?

Charlie: Not guilty, Your Honor.

Judge: How did you come by this rifle, Charlie?

Charlie: Your Honor, I had this rifle since it was a lil', lil' pistol!

Judge: Well, in that case, Charlie, I will have to send you Mazaruni prison (maximum security prison in Guyana) 'till it grow into a big, big cannon!

Tekkin' Mo Breeze

Ah tell yahall boys dat dis breeze tin is a Guyanese ting ... my muddah, she come back de addah day from Canada an California.

Eheh???!!! I come home from wuk waan afternoon an ah see she siddown lookin vex, suh ah seh wha happen ... De place hat-hat, ah cyant do nuttin how it suh hat.

Ah seh ... why yuh din put de airconditioner ahn den?.... she seh if ah put de airconditioner ahn, den she wuddah had to close de windows an den she gun cyan get any breeze.

As ah seh dis breeze ting gat to be a Guyanese ting....

-- Romesh Singh

Bad Parrot

There was dis big mouth parrot living up in the tree, saying how he is big and bad etc. Sad part is that everybody believe him too.

Anyway, one day, dis chicken hawk come flying around to see what he can pick up in de yard. So, he land pun de tree and start to survey de place.

Den, de chicken hawk spot the parrot in between all de leaves and branches. Next ting you know, Mr Chicken Hawk trying to mek Mr parrot a meal. So, de chicken hawk pulling out feathers like crazy.

De other animals around seeing a dis green feathers flying around, start to get second thoughts about Mr Parrot.

Finally, de goat says: Hey parrot, if you bin so big and bad, how come de chicken hawk beating you fuh so?

Mr Parrot: Who you saying getting beat up? Me, I am now taking off me shirt to start fighting!

Left Hand

The boys get together as usual on Friday after work at the rum shop to kick off the weekend in fine style. They buy a large bottle of El Dorado rum, break the seal, and started to pass the bottle around to each man at the table.

Each man pour his usual "shot" of about a quarter glass, and add some "chaser" to the rum and ice. When the bottle get round to Hardat, he pour his usual shot, then he cupped his left hand and pour some rum into it too.

Well, of course everyone was surprised, and asked, "What you doing, Hardat? You glutton or what?"

Said Hardat, "Wait. What happen to you all, man? Ah can't even pour a drink fuh mi woman, or what?"

Mad Cricket

(Well this one is from Trinidad, but it is still funny!)

A feller was visiting St. Ann's one day, eh, and as he entered the gate, he see some fellers playing cricket on the grounds. One feller was bowling, man, if y' see fast ball and thing, then he throw in a few googlies to catch the batman off guard; the batman in the crease making one set a pretty strokes, eh, Brian Lara don't want nothing with him; a next one ruuning and making all kind of big dive and big jump in the air to catch the ball, he not letting a ball get by him; a next one umpiring and signalling for fours and sixes, all kind of thing.

The feller stand up and watching all this action, straining his eyes hard to see the bat and the ball, but wondering when he ain't seeing none. When he couldn't take the jamming no more, he look around the place to see who he could talk to about this thing. Finally, his eyes make four with a feller sitting down on a bench, smoking a cigarette, and watching the cricketers kind of nervously.

The feller walk over to the man to strike up a conversation about the cricket match. He titivay for a while, then he tell the man, "ey, boy, I never see nothing so yet. What y' think 'bout that match, boy. Y' ain't see what them fellers and them over there doing, boy? Boy, is a complete, complete cricket match them fellers and them playing, hitting ball for four and six and thing. Man making big jump for the ball and thing. Man knocking down man stump and man arguing how is the wind what knock down their bail. Boy, I never see nothing so yet; I only looking, but I ain't seeing no bat and no ball. Them fellers playing cricket without a bat and ball."

The man who sit down take a few more nervous puffs on the cigarette, one eye on the feller and one on the cricketers. He ain't answer the feller, eh. He only looking at the cricketers, nervous, nervous.

"Boy, what y' think about what them fellers doing? Y' ever see a man play cricket without bat and ball?" the feller ask again.

The smoker say, "hmh. Hmh. Hmh. Boy, y' think is one watch I watching them. Y' think is one watch I watching them. I come out here to relax, smoke a cigarette and thing, y' know. Me ain't give an arse what none of them fellers do . . . as long as none of them ain't hit me with the ball."

The incident decribed below happened in the pre-indepencence days in Guyana. Who know, it may even be considered as a part of our history! Here goes:

Governor General

The Governor General was making a visit to the Mental Asylum, commonly referred to as Berbice Mad House or BMH.

As he was walking around in the compound, an inmate ran up to him wait a cutlass in his hand. The GG, fearing the worst, took off like a donkey doused with turpentine. Man, if you see de GG running.

The madman kept on chasing the GG for a long time, slowing up when the GG slowed up, and speeding up when the GG sped up.

Finally, the GG could not go any more, so he drop down on the ground. The mad man came up to him, with a big smile on his face.

GG, blowing very hard: "Ok fella, I give up. Go ahead and chop me up. I don't care anymore"

Mad man, still smiling: "Get up. Get up, mi seh"

The GG slowly get up on his wobbly legs.

Mad man: "Here, tek dis cutlass. Is now yuh turn fuh chase me"

The Man Above

A man goin to wuk every day, wukkin hard fuh mek a dollar so he could keep he wife in some fancy clothes and ting. Problem is, every day as soon as he gone, she got a whole set o sweet man in de place. Monday is Tom, Tuesday is Dick Wednesday is Harry etc.

One day de man gon an de boys get dey calendar mix up and two o dem meet up in de place. Well, after some confusion de boys decide no need to fight. You know all man gaffa live.

In de middle o de festivities de man come back home early, an dem boys got no place to run. So one o dem hide up in de roof and de other one hide in de closet.

Well de husband long suspect sumpn goin on. So he did intend fuh fin out dat day, an wuss yet, he bring he cutlish fuh fly some chop.

He come in and ask she: "Who you got in me house, woman?"

She say: "Ow man, Oscar. I aint got nobody in hey. Ask de man above."

Now de man in de roof feel she talking bout he.

He holler out: "Doan ask me ask de man in de closet."

Rose Hall schools participate in first Mash float Parade
CHILDREN of Rose Hall Town, decked out in colourful costumes, paraded to lively music two Saturday’s
ago in celebration of the country’s Republic anniversary.

While the greater spectacle was in the capital for the annual Mashramani Costume and Float

The initiative was organised by the Rose Hall Town Youth and Sport Club.

The parade was held along the main Corentyne highway and saw participation from over 500 school children who attend schools in the town.

The schools which participated included the Corentyne Comprehensive, J.C Chandisingh and Lower Corentyne Secondary schools, Port Mourant Junior High school, Rose Hall Town and Port Mourant Primary schools and the Rose Hall Town Nursery school. The parade also included representatives from the club and majorettes from Kildonan village.

The parade  which  moved off from the JC Chandisingh compound in Rose Hall Town proceeded along the main road to Hampshire village and then through the streets of the town and back to the place of origin a distance of about three miles. It began at 10:30 hrs and lasted for approximately one and half hours.

Many passersby stopped and looked on at the spectacle and the kaleidoscope of colours which was not seen in the area for a very long time, some even joined in the fun, in a true spirit of the theme as they  ‘uniting a celebrate in 2008’

The participants were decked out in colourful costumes and also paraded floats, banners and placard that supported the club’s “Yes to education and life” and “Say No to Drugs and other social ills” slogans.

According to CEO of the club Hilbert Foster the club decided to under take the activity because of a lull in those kinds of activities in the area and in its continuing drive of giving back to the community and organizing meaningful community activities.

He said that the initiative was only hatched about two weeks ago and the schools were more than willing to participate. The schools were assisted in acquiring their costumes by the clubs

They were also presented with Tee shirts by UNICEF and Edward Beharry through its Chico brand while DDL also played a major part through its Topco brand by sponsoring the music and transportation.

Foster said that Club hopes to make the activity an annual affair and next year the activity will be bigger with over 20 schools.

He said that a number of other schools and youth clubs from out of the area wanted to participate, but, time, and other consideration did not permit.

The CEO was loud in his praise of the Guyana Police Force, the schools, and sponsors: the Ministry of Education, UNICEF, D.D.L, Edward Beharry and Company.